Back to the Footture: E31

The euphoria around the ground in the wake of our 1st Leg win in the Quarter Finals of the Champions League is unrivalled. Fans spill out onto the concourses and make their merry way to pubs, clubs and houses singing long into the night about the exploits of the Killie boys.

I shut myself in my office. I’m delighted, but have a feeling that we could have done even better. Home advantage has been a huge thing for us this year and if I’d acted sooner we probably could have had a larger advantage that the perilous 1–0 scoreline heading into the second leg.

I have no time to worry about it though as we’ve got a trip to Hampden on the Saturday to contend with. It’s the Scottish Cup semi-final against Rangers, and after our recent scare against them I’m keen to get things done, and get them done early. Falkirk play Celtic at Ibrox in the other tie as the city becomes a mass of tanked up football supporters on Saturday afternoon. Justin keeps his place as Perr is still injured, and Morten moves back as Gus comes in for Ante. I tell Billy I want him to start further up the pitch as we look to take the game to them.

Its a quiet start and Tavernier limps off early — but its Rangers that create the first chance after half an hour of mind numbing hoofball when Adam Idah heads wide. This doesn’t exactly kick us into life, and we are still struggling leading up to half time.

I’m preparing the bollocking to end all bollockings for the break when a long clearance from Goldson is controlled by Justin, who rakes a 40 yard pass into the feet of Simone. He takes a touch and curls the ball between the central defenders for Georgios to run onto….1–0!! We’ve heisted the first half!!

I decide to proceed with the bollocking anyway and we get a far more energised 2nd half performance. Guus misses two good chances with Idah forcing a stunning save from Coniah in between. Vasilios has a couple of efforts headed wide as well, but it’s all us in the second half and it’s no surprise when a free-kick from Simone from the edge of the box is whipped up and over the wall and past Nipsy Shuttle! 2–0 — Bye Bye! We should add gloss to the scorleine as the last 20 minutes we toy with Rangers but my normally reliable triumverate of Guus, Osame and Vasilios have 7 shots between them, 0 on target….2–0 and we are Final bound!!

W get a whole 2 days of respite before a trip to the Jam Tertz of Hertz, flying high (relatively) in 5th place. John Terry leaves hampers in the away dressing room on every bench, which are filled with disturbingly self-branded toiletries and signed photos of him. It’s very fucking odd. As drawn as I am to an unbeaten season, I have to make changes as the sadistic SFA have scheduled this game less than 48 hours after our Hampden win against Rangers. Vasilios, Osame and Guus all drop out with Aymen, Oliver and Paul coming in. I even give Gergios a rare rest to tend to his herb garden. Still a fucking mean side.

Its a fast start as we have 4 shots by the 10th minute, in which time they’ve completed 15 passes. This of course means that as per the laws of all of our games against Hearts, we sit off and get complacent and get hit on the counter attack. Step up Dean Campbell to score with the last kick of the first half and send us in 1–0 down.

After ten minutes of no chances at the start of second half, I go nuclear and chuck two up top, go two at the back and tell my midfield to get more creative that an Barcelona Bartomeu-era accountant. It takes all of two minutes for my genius to show through as Osame delivers a perfect set piece for Kerr Smith to head in his first goal for the club.

We do leave a lot more space, and Jamie Walker and Matt Godden both have chances that they fail to put on target while another set piece sees Paul flash an overhead kick over the bar. With time running out we somehow survive a huge penalty shout and Simone hits a shot narrowly wide. Billy and Halkett exchange chances over the bar but with the last kick of the game Jamie Walker meets a cut back….HITS THE BAR!

We’re still unbeaten. Just.

With 1 game left until the split, we are 13 point ahead of Rangers. This means that victory in our next game against the Feranti Thistle Fusilli Ramblers could see us seal the title with victory.

This means that 3500 fans pile through to Livingston on a wet Thursdsay evening, taking over the Wetherspoons in the designer outlet and repainting the Asda sign Blue & White. Its back to 100% full strength premium Ayrshire lager, Georgios is up front and IS STILL UNHAPPY WITH ME 5 MONTHS ON FROM ME SAYING THE WRONG THING IN A PRESS CONFERENCE!!

I’m beginning to lose the will.

Its deafening in the Dolmiodome as we start the game and it nearly goes up anther few notches when Georgios shootd after 30 seconds and its tipped wide. Morten puts an effort over a few minutes later as Neil Harris has instructed his side to basically sit on their own goalline…When they do break out, we hit straight back and Osame rolls the ball into the centre for Georgios…pulled wide…damn!

Vasilios is next and then Billy fires wide and I’m beginning to think its all going wrong — particularly when Vasilios then hits an outrageous volley from the corner of the box onto the top of the bar. Further efforts from Georgios are saved or wide and we go into half-time with the score at 0–0 and I’m beginning to feel furious again.

I go to the hospitality suite to get a large whisky and get Catts on the tactics board. He brings on Paul for Vasilios, who links up with Guus from the kickoff giving the dutchman a yard of space…SAVED AGAIN! Then a break from Georgios is ended on the edge of the box…RED CARD! Adjepong sent off as the last man! The away fans volume raises again as we suddenly have a man advantage. Straight away, Morten hits Paul with a crossfield pass and he plays it down the right. Guus runs onto it and clips a ball over to the back post…AND OSAME FINISHES WITH APLOMB! 1–0!

We go two up top again and it should be 2–0 when a cross from Osame is headed in by Georgios, only for it to be disallowed for the grass being too green. The killer second comes a few minutes later though as Armando has a shot saved, but the rebound drops back kindly for him to hammer it home and run behind the goal to jump into the stand with the away fans.

Billy finishes another rebound a few minutes later when Bain spills a shot from Georgios, and despite a late consolation for the hosts, its a 3–1 win and the away fans invade the pitch at the final whistle.

Usually we would party for about a month then lose the Scottish Cup Final to celebrate. But we’ve got bigger business this season and it is AC Milan shaped.

Sensationally we have to play Celtic just two days later as we play 4 games in 8 days in an SFA stitch up of the highest order. I ring the changes and wrap players in cotton wool. I would throw away the unbeaten season for a result in Italy. I’d take becoming a Newco for the Champions League to be honest.

Celtic start the match very defensively, and all that comes from the first 25 minutes is a saved shot from Aymen and Emile limping off, confirming his status as the man most likely to be sold this summer. Georgios forces another save before three quick Celtic chances split between Wood and Kyogo come at the end of the half — the Kiwi efforts wide and the Japanese effort saved well by Coniah.

Celtic have a massive shout for a pen turned down quite rightly, but tey are so outraged they appeal again — also turned down. We’re quite listless, and I want to safeguard Georgios so hook him for Armando and get Simone off for Oliver as I tweak the formation a little. On this occasion, my changes do nothing and the game looks to be fading out when with 4 minutes left, a slip from Justin gives Kyogo a yard and he hits an arrowed shot inside the near post.

I think back to my pre-game pact and consider this justice…but in the final minute Aymen gets down the left and hits a knee-high cross which Armando absolutely batters into the roof of the net to equalise and send the fans wild!

And so to Milan.

It’s a shortish flight from Prestwick and the club charter 14 flights to take fans over, along with our own player and staff jet which gives us comfort and the joys of Simone playing some Matt Munro classics on the guitar whilst Ante croons along.

We get to train on the San Siro turf and meet Paolo Maldini amongst other — who shakes me warmly by the hand and calls me “Chief”. I nearly die of happiness.

At least the game is on the Wednesday night — giving us some valuable recovery time. Emile is injured because he’s a twat and Armando ineligible, but we can pick our full strength team. They are buzzing in the warm up and I even join in, peppering the increasingly confused Milan fans with sliced volleys and hooked efforts that go into Row Q. With the last kick of the warm up, Simone flicks a ball up for Billy to touch into my path, and I run onto it and slam it past Coniah into the top corner to huge celebrations from the away fans up in the gods…could it be an omen?!

We are sitting deep and looking for Georgios to lead the charge on the counter as he has so effectively done through the season. We sit a little too deep and ?Belotti gets a shot in, but Coniah saves well and hold onto it. He bowls it out to Ante who plays it to Simone and onto Billy. He drives forwards, taking out the Milan midfield and flicks it to the left…where Osame is running onto it — he shoots….WIDE!! Nearly a stunning breakaway!

I’m happy with the first 20 minutes or so, but a dangerous cross from Di Sciglio nearly changes that and Kerr has to be alert to nudge the ball behind. From the corner, Tonali jumps highest and his head crunches the crossbar and goes over. We get away on the break a few minutes later and Osame draws a foul from Mancini, winning a free-kick in a good position. Vasilios steps up….CURLED JUST WIDE!

In the lead up to half-time we cede possession to the Milanese and they probe for an opening with little success until Tonali hits a vicious shot that Coniah does brilliantly to deflect away. Chiesa then volleys wide before we get the ball deep in injury time and Georgios sets off. He skips past Belotti and Tonali and looks up to cross it to the back post….WHERE VASILIOS PUTS IT WIDE!!! ARGH!!

Both sides should have scored really, but its 0–0 and we are 45 minutes from a semi-final. I make a double change as Vasilios and Kik have both been poor, bringing on Williams and Paul and hoping we dont need any time to adjust after half-time. My worst fears are nearly realised when Belotti beats Coniah with a header, but Williams clears it off the line and follows up with an important block a minute later. Federico Chiesa is now all over us and puts in a couple of crosses which are wasted along with testing Coniah twice in quick succession. Just as we are being overwhelmed, we breakaway and Osame get a chance to shoot. Maignan fumbles it….but just recovers before Paul can reach it.

We get a bi more of a grip in the game and Billy is everywhere, snapping at the heels of the AC Midfield. He wins a ball high up the park and plays in Georgios, who takes a touch and shoots….JUST WIDE! Maignan takes a long goal kick and its flicked on by Blas to Chiesa. He looks up and curls in a ball for Belotti, who hits it first time….FUCK. 1–1 on aggregate.

I yell at the boys to push up and they do just that, Paul creating space for Billy to tee up Osame but he slashes wide again. The goal seems to have given us more of a kick and suddenly Morten links up with Simone and they take out a defender, with a little flick back into the path of Billy on the edge of the box who hits it….OFF THE BAR!!

I decide to go for it. My entire spell in charge has been a series of increasingly attacking moves and I’m not backing down now. Kerr comes off, Guus goes on as cannon fodder to rough up the Milan defence. Despite both sides putting balls into the box, none of them come to anything and we go to extra-time…

A few minutes later Milan win a corner and its swung in by Tonali. I’m partially sighted as the ball loops back across the goal…AND CONIAH SAVES!! UNBELIVEABLE FROM THE BIG MAN! We break away and Simone plays a long ball for Osame who is steaming onto it and beyond the last man with just Maignan to beat as he lofts it over him….HIS SHOT DRIFTS WIDE…I fall to the turf in agony. Georgios has an effort tipped over and Chiesa fires over from distance as the first half of extra time ends.

Georgios tries to do it all by himself in the second half. He beats three men on a mazy run through the defence and gets to the edge of the box. He draws Maignan and tries to hit it to the near post…..BUT MAIGNAN STICKS OUT A FOOT!! SAVED!! The corner from Osame finds Justin…but its straight at Maignan. Osame has another cross fired wide by Morten with seconds left and the referee blows for full time.

Penalties.

Belotti…scores.

Paul…scores

Chiesa…send Coniah the wrong way.

Guus…pure power down the middle. It’s 2–2.

Kessie…good pen to the left corner.

Ante….BLAZES IT OVER THE BAR. He sinks to the turf and I join him as I stare to the heavens. 3–2 Milan.

Tomori….Melted down the middle. 4–2.

Panada…SAVED BY MAIGNAN…